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Do I tell my friend she's not a bridesmaid or let her find out?
A group of 4 of us were very close from middle school thru high school. 3 of us have continued to be quite close and the fourth, Meg moved away and has drifted apart. However, Meg got married a couple of years ago and still asked all of us to be in her wedding and when she's in town we still all hang out. I am now planning my wedding and I know that I want I want the other two girls as bridesmaids, but not Meg. I care about her, but we have only a few times in the last year and I have family members that I would prefer to have in my wedding party. I planned on making one of those "knot.com" profiles, but I think that would be a pretty harsh way for Meg to find out that she's not in the wedding given that she very likely assumes she is a bridesmaid. However, if I just come right out and tell her "hey, you're not a bridesmaid" without her asking first and without having chatted with her in a while, I'm afraid that will come across as even more abrasive and unnecessary. Help!
Maybe instead of coming out and "telling" her that she isn't a bridesmaid, you can ask her to do something else for you in your wedding. Maybe you can ask her to do a reading or something. Then just call her up, and say "My wedding is on such-and-such a date, and I'd really like it if you would do me the honor of doing a reading at my wedding." That might be enough to give her the hint. But if she then *asks* about being a bridesmaid, you can explain it to her.
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